There was a ten-year-old boy who had one of those plush baby books- you know those cloth books you give little toddlers, with bright pictures and simple printed words?- it was his prized possession. It was the only toy he had. Most kids wore the same clothes every day. They didn't smell very good. My friend and her father got to join in when some students who won a reading contest were selected to go on a trip to a game park. Their little bus was surrounded by about 75 elephants! She said it was incredible. But they had to move really slowly, as not to disturb/ anger the animals. When the group got back into town, it was too late for the kids to walk home again (it gets dark very quickly), so they had to spend the night at their school. My friend's dad went and got pizza for them. A teacher was with them; they would eat dinner and stay over until morning. The next day, they learned that the teacher had decided to go home herself, leaving the kids all alone in the school. That is when a man who works as a guard at the school broke in and raped a young girl.
I know we have heard a lot of these stories before. I know I am merely spouting off information I heard vicariously; I was not there myself. I didn't get to touch or hold or love on those children firsthand. But I am floored. Every time I hear a story like this, I am shaken. I am riled up. I weep. And I am so overwhelmed and yet feel so impotent- so powerless to do anything. But I am reminded of a statement that Al Gore made in his film An Inconvenient Truth. He said that when people really absorb the truth about global warming and the current environmental crises, they often go from a state of denial into a state of despair. I think I have heard so many heartbreaking stories about children who live in third world nations, I get almost numb. I feel like, "What could I possibly do to change anything?" I could send some money... I could go hold some orphans... But what about all the other people who are hurting? How will a few dollars or a few hours of my time solve anything? And then even on a small scale...on a local level... there are children right here in my own country- my own city who are suffering in some way. It's everywhere. I think a person could either fall apart at the seams with grief, or grow terribly callous for lack of hope or know-how. And I don't really want to do either of those things. All I can do is offer back what little I've got to give, and trust that God will multiply it.
I wish I had a definitive answer- something inspiring and encouraging to say to anyone who might read this.... But I think as long as we exist in a fallen world, there is going to be hunger, poverty, depravity....
When I think about my own life, I recall several significant people who loved me, who walked with me, who influenced me in some way. I just want to be that for people- one person, even. A child. I am not perfect, but I can be available. I can be a broken vessel with a little light to give. I would LOVE to go to Africa someday. But as long as I am still here, I want to keep my eyes open. I want to grab a hold of every opportunity to love. My life is not my own; I have been bought with a price. Unto what end? To love. Whatever that looks like.
Let every good intention begin to take root and find life. Let every tear be a drop that will water the vision. Whatever is deep within your heart to do- whatever small idea you have, no matter how "insignificant" it may seem, it could mean the world to someone. Your phone call, your embrace, your dollar bill (or coin... still just doesn't sound right though)... pour it out. Give it away. I am more and more convinced that there is power in the little things, in the one-to-one's... I am so cracked and broken. I have so much to learn. This is just me sharing what's on my heart. Not trying to be Oprah. I don't have it all together. I just want to use the pain. It has to be good for something. I want my life to testify of love.
posted by Jules @ Sunday, April 08, 2007
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