Feast of Heaven

Keeping thirsty....

So, I am LOVING the summer time. And it's almost over. But that's okay. Honestly, I would have to say this has been one of the best summers of my life. Here are some of the reasons why:

*People are coming to Jesus! Oh yeah, God has all sorts of AMAZING things up His sleeve....
*I have learned a lot about resting in God, and seeing His provision. My "light workload" has freed me up to do things I could never normally do under traditional workaholic circumstances (i.e. spend quality time with kids and friends, use my time to help/ serve "busy people," etc)
*I have developed a much deeper appreciation for the OCEAN.
*I got a tan! (miracle)
*I have totally gotten over my tank top inhibitions.

I suppose that as "back-to-school" time approaches ever nearer, I am aware of how great things have been lately (not that they're not always great, but sometimes they are just more obviously so), and of how spazzy and stressed out I can be when I am in school. Last fall, I was struggling through one of my "Study harder, look better, find your keys, clean out your car, buy a daytimer, locate your phone, remember your friends, get a !@#$ grip" phases, and, as I began to compel myself to obtain said grip, I sat in the hallway of the upper level of the Young Building on the Camosun campus, furiously writing in my notebook, my eyes all blurry and red, I poured out my heart:

The walls I have constructed--walls of chaos and mess and fleeting time, walls of selfish ambition and procrastination and vain imaginings, walls of deceit and distraction and desensitization--they have added up to a needless puzzle--a smokescreen. The things that really matter are so simple. They are ripe and sweet and within my grasp. They are good. They give life. So available, so uncomplicated. But I cannot find them. I cannot find them alone. Someone else has to help me. Someone else must tear down the obstructions of needless worry and fear, half-hearted efforts, failure and fear of failing, electronic time eaters, with monstrous invisible jaws. Sugar and flavour, accumulation of things, fragrance and colour, all rolled into a vapour of hollow beauty, a mist that rests lightly on my skin, awakening every pore with the promise of something new--something better than before, until suddenly every sense of longing is filled to overflowing; every vacancy is occupied. There is no room left for life. I am on pause. Someone press play. I have already tried. Suddenly, it is all I can think about. There must be one quick solution I have not yet thought of. I have been here before, and I cannot afford to come back. Does a prisoner return to the walls of captivity?
Set me free.
Love, Julie

So yeah. I guess I just sort of don't want to return to that place. Granted, the place isn't all that bad, in that my sense of longing for the Lord becomes a little keener, more obnoxious and harder to ignore. And that's okay. I just want to remember the goodness of God in every season. I am in desperate need of Him always, and I'd rather remember that and drink of His faithfulness before I have to experience the dehydration that comes from forgetting my thirst. Amen?

posted by Jules @ Saturday, August 28, 2004