Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Well, I am back from a week long Alaskan cruise- probably one of the best vacations I have had, as far as just chillaxing and reuniting with extended family members. I still have a couple assignments and library books to turn in, but am otherwise through with school for a while (well, until September), and start my season of working fulltime this morning. I want to find joy in this. I really do. I am trying hard to do so. There just isn't a whole ton of favour or fun at that place.... What I mean is, the incentive to go in and work my b*lls off (ha ha) when there is minimal emotional or relational gratification is slim to none. And yet, a part of me believes that this is where God has put me. So I am waiting on Him for the grace and strength to carry it out. It is quite remarkable, actually. I spent the day with a friend-- we had many laughs and some really good talks-- but by about 9:30, I was itching to get home and spend some time with Jesus. Perhaps this is how it should be, but for me, this was like a strange, old familiar feeling- like, "Oh yeah! Remember when I used to yearn for His presence? Remember how I'd spend hours at His feet, just soaking Him in...?" I was desperate for Him. I was ever aware of my great need for Him-- my utter dependence on Him for the ability to breathe. And so part of me is grateful. Going into an undesirable situation has forced me to depend on Him more. He has created a hunger inside of me through my circumstances, and therefore I can honestly say I wouldn't have it any other way. I will not pray for my circumstances to change, but for my heart to grow closer to Jesus, for my perspective to reflect His perspective. When I am on top of the world, my need for Him is concealed, and I would rather know my need for Him any day than to run a thousand miles on my own- only to discover I am in a giant hamster wheel, spending my strength and getting nowhere. But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength....

posted by Jules @ Tuesday, May 23, 2006

1 Comments:

At 7:03 AM, Blogger Jules said...

Yep, Jesus is where it's at. Fo sho.

M, hope your time away has been refreshing, enlightening, and fun all rolled into one. Can't wait to see you.

"Surf's up". Ha ha!

 

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