I've been thinking so much lately about the value of encouragement- speaking words of inspiration and affirmation to others to "spur them on", call them out, awakening their sense of purpose or destiny.
I get to teach grade four these days, and what an amazing, life-giving experience it has been so far. But there are children in the class who are so broken- at such a young age. Already it seems they have lost their ability to trust, and to believe that someone may be on their side. I am trying to take a "proactive" approach with these kids, praising them and affirming them before they get a chance to blow up and alienate themselves even further. I want to see the potential in them and call them up to that standard.
There is a woman who goes to my church. I don't actually know her name. But I have seen her a number of times, and every time I do, she is washing dishes or making coffee. Whenever I look at her, I feel so blessed, and think, "Wow. She is such an amazing, humble lady". And it occurred to me the other day that I should say something to her. Now, this is where Julie is a total dork because I always have these wonderful, eloquent things to say... in my head. But how do I get them out there so others can hear them too? I walked up to her this morning (as she was boiling the kettle for tea) and said, "I always, like..... think you are so awesome... cuz, um..." I don't know. I managed to spit it out. But I never even gave her my name... or asked her what her name is.
I got to sing and play keyboards today, and it ended up being pretty fun. But I had had a long and busy week, and was dealing with the kind of conflict that comes from taking too much ownership of your giftings... and from operating under a major sleep deficit. Someone spoke direct encouragement to me afterwards, and it was just so timely and good; I was able to recognize the subjectivity of my own emotions and the futility in being upset by my inability to be perfect at everything I do. To be a blessing in my flawed condition is so much more important to me than attaining "perfection" that may only be admired from a distance.
The thing is, we are always going to be awkward and human... at least for a little while... And we can't always wait for the perfect words to say. Sometimes we just have to be a bit uncomfortable and say the thing that's stirring in our hearts. It's how people communicate. To hold back our words for fear of looking foolish could be robbing someone of a portion of their inheritance.
posted by Jules @ Sunday, April 29, 2007
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