Feast of Heaven

What is it about human beings that compels us to want to be "known?" I don't mean famous, I mean like known, personally. When well-known (in the famous sense) musicians are asked why they ever got started, sometimes they say, "I just wanted to get my stuff out there. I just wanted my voice to be heard." Why is that so important? I am asking this not as a detached observer, but as one who finds myself thinking this way from time to time. I hear a song with lyrics that reach me in some way, and I wish I could do the same thing. I wish I could put all of my hidden thoughts and yearnings into a song and then release it for the world to hear, see, and understand. What stops me from doing that? Laziness? Fear? God? I am not always excessively happy. And I'm not really very fun sometimes. Sometimes I get excited about stupid things, like my USB flash drive, avoiding phone calls, watching TV by myself. Sometimes I am painfully shy, and have absolutely nothing to say. It is in those times that I either choose to effervesce or simply to walk away, pretending I don't care (it depends on the amount of effort I am willing to put out at the time). I am not effusive in showing my affection, but that doesn't mean I do not embrace you with my heart, with my actions, with my words. I would rather know about the saddest or the most lovely thing that has happened in your life thus far, than to hear about how your day went. I am incapable of making genuine small talk, and if this seems contrary to the truth, then I guessed I had you fooled!

Remember when I used to share my insights, and even a little scripture? Well, those days are not completely lost, my friends. Stick with me. Every season has its flavour. The "feast" may not seem terribly nourishing at this point, but perhaps we can hunger together for now.

These are the thoughts that I wanted to make known to you.
Until next time....

posted by Jules @ Tuesday, October 26, 2004 6 comments

black and white
like a piano
like my hair is now
and like a zebra, because zebras are what you think of when someone refers to black and white.
there is no room for grey anymore.
hot or cold
left or right
shadows or light
black or white
black may be licorice, ebony, charcoal, or midnight
white is pristine, eggshell, ivory, or vanilla
but they are two very different things and they do not bleed together
there is no middle ground
whoever heard of a licorice and eggshell sandwich?
that is something to be vehemently rejected, and spewed from one's mouth.
I love God or I hate Him.
I love Him.

posted by Jules @ Monday, October 25, 2004 1 comments

Petty
Rebellion
Is
Deceptively
Ebullient


Selfish
Ambition
Brutally
Obstructs
Truth
And
God's
Elect


Non, je ne suis pas malheurese ou déprimé; seulement, je pense que je ne veux pas être un humain parfois. C'est tout. Je vous aime....

(Aren't I pretentious?!)

posted by Jules @ Sunday, October 10, 2004 0 comments

I've been thinking a bit about love lately--mainly because it is so highly demanded of us everywhere in scripture. It is obviously something God expects from His people, something that Jesus displayed in the most inspirational and beautiful way. So how do we do it? Oswald Chambers said that "love is the loftiest preference of one person for another." Preference. Hmm. Do I prefer anyone to myself? Nope, not really. Am I kind to people? Well, yeah. Do I give them stuff, like rides to places or free haircuts or clothing I don't wear anymore, or money for food? Yes, I might do a few of those things from time to time. But is this due to an expression of love in its truest, most genuine form? I'm afraid it might not be. It could be my innate need to make people happy. I want to please them in some way, and insodoing, I can please myself; it feels good to "love." But, what I am finding is that it's easier to love beautiful, fun, entertaining people than it is to love the "unlovable--" those who cannot really love me back. Do I prefer these people in the way that Jesus calls me to? No, most often I find I am more annoyed by people than anything else. Besides, anytime a person is aware that he or she is expressing "love" to someone, you've got to wonder if it's even really love at all.

I have some amazing examples of love in my life-- people who give up their homes and their food and their lives to bless others, to see them healed and grown up in God, warm and well-fed. These people do not refer to the kindness as some sort of ministry-- it is who they are, how they live.

When Jesus forms His character into our lives, shouldn't love become as natural to us as breathing? I am more and more convinced that we are so much more HUMAN than we think sometimes. Perhaps the only way to really change is found as "we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit...."

posted by Jules @ Sunday, October 03, 2004 1 comments