Heartbreaking passion. Longing for affinity--for true, unshaken hearts who uphold painstaking purity. Repulsed by mixture; yearning for wholeness. The beauty of Jesus and His heart. Where else would we go? You alone hold the keys to eternal life. When we seek man's approval and adoration, we steal that which belongs to God. Selling pieces of our souls for meagre recognition. Settling for worldly pleasure in the place of that for which we were created. Secrecy kills fellowship. Secret sin, like a weed, strangles the vine. Who am I? Not anyone smarter or wiser or purer than the most grievous sinner. But my heart is breaking. Compromise does not belong here. Am I to make apologies? I can no longer pretend that it is okay to strip the word of God into pleasing, more palatable pieces for the sake of our own comfort and the perpetuation of sin. I, the guiltiest of guilty, have nothing more to offer than the burden of desire for more. More than we have allowed ourselves to accept as sufficient. I sense the beauty of Jesus and nothing else seems to matter. How, once we have tasted of His goodness, can we settle for less than all that He has? I know that the cost is great, but is not the payoff so much greater? I pray that you will hear my heart. I pray that you can look past my incoherent ramblings and will sense the true groanings of my spirit. Don't let my choice of words deter you. Hear the message behind them. Jesus is calling us to sacrifice. The life He can bring is so much greater than the lives we seek to save on our own strength. Feeling beautiful or appreciated or loved is not the ultimate objective of our lives. Please don't let your flesh win another battle. Those who seek to save their lives will lose their lives. But those who lose their lives for His sake will find them. Deep calls to deep and my words are insufficient.
Sup, Sup, Sup? I cannot believe I have let nearly a month sneak by again! I am so negligent... well... I have been a little busy. But that's all screeching to a satisfying halt real soon. My apologies nonetheless.
So, Happy Easter. I have been having some thoughts lately (shocking, I know), but before I bust into it all, let me begin with a little update. I start my 3 week practicum on Tuesday, teaching PE (dance) and Language Arts (poetry) to a grade seven class. So excited. Apparently, the majority of the kids have learning disabilities and/ or behavioural problems, so it's going to be right up my alley! Bring on the remedials.
Anywho, the thoughts.... I was thinking today about how we as people, tend to live life like we are simply humans having the occasional spiritual experience, when really, we are spirits having a human experience. We were created to be in communion with God, and that's where the life is. I think when we're bored sometimes, we convince ourselves that a new pair of jeans or a good CD is going to make things better. And it doesn't. But we just keep plugging along, waiting for the next thing to "happen" to us. I was remembering some encouragement that I received last year when someone I hardly knew started praying for me, and basically communicated the heart of God for my life. And it woke me up inside (as per Evanescence) and changed the way I was looking at life. So if a little encouragement can make that much difference, why do we go for months as if we're half dead and cut off from all necessary resources? We can encourage one another daily (Hebrews 3)- and if that doesn't work out, we can at least start encouraging ourselves. We've got the Word and the Spirit. What else do we need? (I know I'm saying "we" a lot. Perhaps this message only pertains to myself. But I doubt it.)
I'm also thinking of Acts 3:19, where it says, "Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord". I know I sure can't expect to be refreshed if I'm unwilling to change. There are things that certainly need to change- my attitudes, bad habits, etc. Things that clutter up my life and my thoughts. Jesus wants to do some spring cleaning. He can restore the intimacy of relationship for which He created us.
Not trying to be preachy, or to speak in cliches. This is real. This is my heart.
On that note.... peace out, folks. Keep it real and stuff.
