Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Well, I am back from a week long Alaskan cruise- probably one of the best vacations I have had, as far as just chillaxing and reuniting with extended family members. I still have a couple assignments and library books to turn in, but am otherwise through with school for a while (well, until September), and start my season of working fulltime this morning. I want to find joy in this. I really do. I am trying hard to do so. There just isn't a whole ton of favour or fun at that place.... What I mean is, the incentive to go in and work my b*lls off (ha ha) when there is minimal emotional or relational gratification is slim to none. And yet, a part of me believes that this is where God has put me. So I am waiting on Him for the grace and strength to carry it out. It is quite remarkable, actually. I spent the day with a friend-- we had many laughs and some really good talks-- but by about 9:30, I was itching to get home and spend some time with Jesus. Perhaps this is how it should be, but for me, this was like a strange, old familiar feeling- like, "Oh yeah! Remember when I used to yearn for His presence? Remember how I'd spend hours at His feet, just soaking Him in...?" I was desperate for Him. I was ever aware of my great need for Him-- my utter dependence on Him for the ability to breathe. And so part of me is grateful. Going into an undesirable situation has forced me to depend on Him more. He has created a hunger inside of me through my circumstances, and therefore I can honestly say I wouldn't have it any other way. I will not pray for my circumstances to change, but for my heart to grow closer to Jesus, for my perspective to reflect His perspective. When I am on top of the world, my need for Him is concealed, and I would rather know my need for Him any day than to run a thousand miles on my own- only to discover I am in a giant hamster wheel, spending my strength and getting nowhere. But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength....

posted by Jules @ Tuesday, May 23, 2006 1 comments

Thursday, May 11, 2006

O my soul, set not thine affections upon rusting, moth-eaten, decaying
treasures, but set thine heart upon Him who abides for ever faithful to thee.
~Charles Haddon Spurgeon

posted by Jules @ Thursday, May 11, 2006 0 comments

Monday, May 01, 2006

Today was a bit of a discouraging day for me. Without getting into too much detail, suffice it to say I can be a little sensitive under scrutiny at times, and particularly when the source seems a little too enthusiastic in his/ her approach to criticism.

But then a cool thing happened. Another source-- someone unexpected-- breathed words of God to me, and the words just... hit home. And despite the fact that I have been racing back and forth between states of insecurity and indignation, I am ultimately struck by the notion that God can speak through whomever or whatever He wants to. The thing is, this person is an old friend of a friend, who had been passionate about Jesus and has since walked away from God. I just met him a few days ago, but I sense that God wants to bring him back home. And it was like our conversation had that strange third dimensional aspect, where you just know God wants some part in it all. Yesssss. So I had my confidence shaken a little from one encounter, but through another encounter, there is this sense of excitement that something good-- something eternal is going to happen in someone's life. And that makes the fleeting "discouraging moments" worthwhile. I love that there's a master plan....

posted by Jules @ Monday, May 01, 2006 0 comments